Why I want an Elephant at my Wedding

As you can see from today’s photo, the trash is piled ten feet high here in the city of Naples, Italy. What, you can’t see it? But what about that report you saw on TV where garbage bags lined the streets, people were wearing masks and burning huge mounds of uncollected trash? Yeah, I’ve seen all that, too - on TV and the Internet, like you. But when I am out on my daily walk this is what I see, not piles of trash everywhere!
It’s a serious problem, yes. Those things are actually happening: BUT NOT IN THE CITY CENTER OF NAPLES despite what you have read. As I mentioned in a previous post, the city of Naples is no messier now than it was when I got here nearly a year ago. Yes, there is a garbage crisis, but there is also a lot sloppy journalism going on, which I will rant about comment on in an upcoming post. Stay tuned…
Last Monday I was surprised to see Angelo’s folks lounging around in their pajamas when I got up. I’d forgotten that Easter Monday is still a holiday in most European countries. Angelo’s mom told me, ‘Easter Sunday you stay in with your family, but Easter Monday you go out and have a picnic.’ She then gestured out the window and added, ‘Obviously, not this year.’
No, this year the weather conspired to keep us inside thanks to several days of electrical storms, heavy rain and a little hail thrown in for good measure. (In fact, I hear some thunder now, so I’d better hurry up and post this before we have to unplug the modem again!) Which reminds me, you know how they always say that Eskimos have eleven words for snow? Well, Italians have two words for lightning: when you see the flash, but don’t hear anything with it, it’s lampi; if you see an actual lightning bolt, it’s fulmini.
So no picnics, but did we ever eat! When celebrating Easter with a bunch of non-practicing Catholics in Italy, you may as well add an ‘f’ and call the event ‘Feaster.’ Our only dose of religion last weekend came via Kevin Smith’s movie ‘Dogma,’ dubbed in Italian, of course.
I finally had my first Italian-speaking dream on Easter. In the dream, I wandered through a labyrinthian Target store back in the USA. While inwardly marveling at how many different things were for sale in one place, I kept running into people I knew. Even though they were American, they’d all been studying Italian and wanted to practice with me. I remember thinking, ‘I speak more Italian here than in Italy,’ and getting a kick out of their thick American accents.
I’m sure the dream was prompted in part by the fact that I’m heading back to the states this month. While I’m there I want to buy some books to bring back. I am open to suggestions if any of you have any must-reads to recommend! I’d really like to get See Naples and Die by Penelope Green, but not only is it hard to find, it’s expensive when you finally do. A used copy on Amazon currently goes for more than $50!
And finally, you may be wondering what’s with all the bold text in this post? I did it for a pal who keeps complaining that the only time he’s online is at work, and he has to be sneaky about reading my blog. This way, he can catch the highlights before his boss catches him! What do you think? Is the bold text annoying or helpful?
And lastly, when Angelo and I get married, I want to hire an elephant as our photographer. Just check out these lively photos, snapped by a pachyderm paparazzo. I especially love the monkey close-up, a clear demonstration that ‘don’t talk to the hand’ is a gesture understood by all primates, not just humans.






















