Spending time in Texas when you’re from the north is rather like hanging out with an infamous uncle, the one you’ve been hearing outrageous stories about your whole life, but have never met. You step off the plane, shake his hand, and can’t help but keep a mental checklist of how he stacks up in real life versus all the family lore.

As a newcomer, I am still sorting through Texan cliche versus Texan reality. One that’s ringing true so far is that folks like their guns down here. I have seen billboards for at least 3 different gun shows in the past couple months. As for today’s photo, I’m not quite sure why they are saying, ‘Shoot while you still can!’ but I’m sure that slogan has visceral appeal for many a passerby.

What do you mean, you go to Curves? 24 Hour Fitness? LA Fitness? That’s sissy talk. Around these here parts, we take physical fitness seriously. That’s right. We are hardcore, hence the name.

I haven’t actually been inside Hardcore Fitness, I merely snapped this shot as we drove by, but it’s all too easy to envision a Spartan interior, with plenty of cement and jutting corners. The dressing room benches are cold hard slabs, nothing cushy anywhere. Cold showers, for sure, and let’s not forget the lurching, no-necked, roid-filled trainers with monosyllabic names who barely move their lips when they talk, and sound more like grunting elks than humans. You rarely understand what they say, but are too afraid to ask for explanations.

Of course, this being 2009, they now have a day spa, and a juice bar…